They say that neccessity is the mother of all change and whilst that is true I’ve decided to make a slight change to this blog and concentrate less on what I can offer and more of what I do on a day to day basis. So expect a more fun, informative blog site from now on with discussions, podcasts, interviews, audio and video podcasts and day to day uploads right here about my life and my experiences, on going projects, future projects and my life in sobriety.
They’ll be give aways and I hope to have a lot more interaction with you lovely people who drop by and read my writings, musings and slight philosophical outlook on life.
Since getting sober one mantra I have lived by is “I didn’t get sober to be miserable” so the fun starts here. From music to movies, martial arts training, general thoughts and feelings about life, personal thoughts and adventures this will be a place for me to document my day to day life in sobriety as a writer, a dreamer and a positive actioneer,
Let the adventures begin 🙂
When we are ill we are given medicine to feel better but some of us don’t take it and wonder why we still feel ill!
If your heart aches and your trapped in the darkness head towards the light. Get rid of all the crap that’s been dragging you down for years. It’s all bullshit! Stop feeding your dark side, stop people pleasing, stop making up shit excuses. Get up get off your arse and change it!
If your depressed and god knows I have been, change your routine. Change the way you think by doing different things.
If you have past hurts clogging up your heart. Then get that out of the darkness and into the light.
Tattoos, violence, cannabis, amphetamines, glue, alcohol, I did them all BEFORE I WAS EVEN A TEENAGER!!
Even before that I suffered!
But you got to cut that shit out, you got to exercise those dark memories and erase them from your life.
You’ve got to get up and get out there and live.
Chase your dreams, run In the fields, ride a bike with the wind in your hair, laugh, eat, climb a
Mountain, swim, roll down grassy green hills do what ever the fuck makes you happy and don’t care who’s watching or what anyone else thinks.
It’s your choice.
START LIVING OR YOUR ALREADY DEAD!
There was a time when I actually believed and acted like I was the centre of the universe; everything revolved around me! This was a time when all I thought about was myself; a selfish time and actually a time of pain and suffering.
It wasn’t until I realised that actually I was not the centre of the universe, that things started to change.
You see I’ve come to believe that there isn’t a centre of the universe at all, but only a shared universe where everything we do affects everyone and everything that shares it.
Since I’ve started to have faith in this new found belief, I’ve found myself having many, many more successes more often, in everything I do.
When we stop and take a look at ourselves and our lives and the lives of the people we share it, we see the cause and effect of our actions expanding out like the ripples from stones thrown into water. We see that as these ripples expand, they have a more far-reaching effect than we ever thought possible.
When we start to consider who these ripples touch and the effect of them, we start to consider our own actions more carefully. Things like good timekeeping become more important; as being late can have far-reaching effects on many different people and situations. That extra five minutes at the bar or taking the attitude of ‘they or it’ll wait’, could have a knock-on effect that could potentially ruin everything for someone on the outer limits of the ripple in the water we’ve just created.
Instead of thinking of ourselves as the be-all and end-all, we start to take into consideration how powerful our actions are and how powerful the effects of these actions can be. What starts out as a ripple in the water for you, could be a tidal wave for someone else.
Our planning of things becomes more accurate and more refined and even our work becomes more constructive and productive when we remove ourselves from the centre and understand we share the universe with everyone else.
In short, the less you are at the centre, the more you will achieve.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t put your own needs first, but what I am trying to point out is the way we think about and go about achieving our successes determines how successful we will be.
Don’t be selfless or selfish, just take a slight shift from the centre and of everything and look at how big your shared universe is.
Who will your actions affect and what effects will those actions cause?
By removing yourself from the centre, you will start to take more actions that have great effects and less actions that cause bad ones and the pain and suffering you may be experiencing will start to diminish.
The more you cultivate this kind of thinking, the more you will flourish and the more you flourish, the more successes you will have.
Often we start down a path on a journey motivated and full of enthusiasm. What we have set out to achieve is at the forefront of our minds and we are full of determination. But often after a few weeks, the enthusiasm has dwindled and the motivation has gone. How then do we keep up the momentum?
Keeping motivated is the most important aspect of achieving any goal we set. It’s the motivation behind that chosen goal that needs to be at the forefront of your thinking at all times.
How often do you hear of someone who joins the gym, starts a diet or starts out on an educational journey only to get a few weeks in and then stop completely. The main reason for this is lack of motivation.
To keep motivated we have to constantly remind ourselves of the reason we set the goal in the first place.
Let’s say you’re overweight and decide for health reasons or you’re self- conscious about the way you look, so you decide to join a gym. You’re nervous the first day but the motivation is so high that you pluck up the courage to go and join. You start you training and it’s hard, it’s really hard. It’s so hard that already on the first day, on the first exercise you’re asking yourself why, oh why am I doing this? Day one and you’re already killing the motivation. Some unscrupulous gym buff makes a comment about you being out of breath after 5 minutes on the treadmill and your motivation is again chipped away. You go home and your partner or friend tells you you’re being silly; you’re just not the gym type. Eventually you will start telling yourself its too hard, I’m too unfit, what’s the point!
So how do we build a shield of motivation that such comments will bounce right off?
The Three P’s
Plan what action it is you are going to take to achieve your goal.
What’s your target? It’s no use shooting arrows if you haven’t got a target to hit.
What is your goal?
What is the motivation?
When do you want to achieve it by?
What is your means of attack?
If you prepare for what will happen on the journey to achieving your goals, your motivation will have a better chance of staying intact.
Expect criticism, but pay it no attention
Expect re-direction, but don’t see it as failure
Expect delays, but stay consistent
Surround yourself with positive people; those that say you can and will
Put up pictures and quotes from the great achievers in unexpected places to remind you of the journey you are on and the goals you have set
Read inspiring stories and stay away from negative ones
Concentrate on yourself and your own needs
The biggest reason for loss of motivation is listening to negative people and concentrating on how you might fail. Change this cycle and create good habits. It will be hard at first but constantly reminding yourself of the reasons why you wanted to change in the first place is a sure fire way to keep motivated. Concentrate on the benefits of what reaching your goal will give.
Most importantly enjoy the journey; it’s part of the goal.
The one question people ask me almost on a daily basis is why did you stop drinking?
Apart from losing my family, every job I’d ever had, every home I’d ever tried to establish, every relationship I had been in and being on the verge of insanity, I would have to say that the one thing, the final straw was realising that I had lost myself.
I hadn’t really known myself since being a boy of 7 years old when I lost my innocence.
When I looked back on my life I saw a happy child with a happy heart but at the end of my drinking career I was soulless. Nothing, no matter what I tried could make me feel that happiness. It was at this point as I sat in my run down bedsit; a thirty year old man, lost, lonely and unhappy. It was at time point I realised I was at a turning point in my life. I could either carry on living a miserable, unproductive existence or I could seize the day and do something about it. This was when I realised that without happiness, without self-worth, without that feeling of being at one with myself, without being able to look in the mirror and feel happy with what was looking back, life wasn’t worth living and I wasn’t ready to die yet.
I wanted to live; I wanted to lead a productive, happy life. No longer having to cast my mind to the past to achieve my happiness but instead wake up on a daily basis with a feeling of self-worth, a feeling that I belonged, a feeling of being able to contribute to this world instead of always taking out.
Happiness; a deep seeded happiness is what I craved and so my journey in sobriety began.
Without happiness, without self-worth, without that feeling of belonging – life is not life, it is survival and I don’t want to survive, I want to live and have that feeling of being alive and enjoy it.
That is why I stopped drinking.
Are you consistent?
The answer may be yes but are you consistent in a way that is pushing you towards your goals or away from them?
Doing the same thing the same way and expecting a different result is surely a sign of madness!
Whenever we do something consistently, we will cultivate results. Those results can either be pushing us forwards or be sending us backwards. There is no middle ground.
Let’s say for instance your chosen career path is to be a writer. You want to write for a living and you want to be paid for that writing. Ask yourself this one question. Am I consistent?
To be a great writer you have to be consistently writing. You have to be writing on a daily basis to be able to develop your writing prowess. It’s no good writing once a week or once a month and expecting to get any better at it, you won’t. Writing is an art form that only improves by consistently writing. It’s the same as any other career path, hobby or skill you want to develop. For instance, you might want to train to be a great athlete. Whatever it is you choose you want to be great at, you will not be great without being consistent.
Consistency is key.
Take a look at the greatest achievers in any area and look at what it is that they do to become truly great in their fields. You can bet your bottom dollar that one thing is consistency. The world’s greatest athletes are consistently training, they are consistently eating the correct diets, and they have consistent sleeping patterns, training routines and schedules. Without consistency they become nothing. A world class athlete will not stay world class if they start to be inconsistent.
An athlete who trains five times a week for years will not be the same athlete if they skip meals, they miss training sessions or stay up partying to the early hours. How many times have you seen great athletes fall from grace because they haven’t trained, eaten healthily or lived a lifestyle that is consistent with their successful routines?
There are countless books laying unwritten, millions of ideas unrealised and eons of hours wasted because the creators of potentially great things have become inconsistent in the area that was pushing them towards fantastic achievements in exchange for being consistent in the things that took them further away from achieving their aims and goals.
Consistency works both ways. If you are a consistent procrastinator nothing will ever materialize. If you are consistently late, people will stop inviting you. If you are consistently ignorant, you will lose friends. If you are consistent in your inconsistency, dreams will be lost, goals will never be reached and your aspirations will forever be drifting further away.
Be consistent in the things that push you towards your goals and dreams, not the ones that take you further away from them.